Your face tastes like candy.


if only you were real. le sigh.

You know what’s fun? Wasting time, that’s what. This isn’t a new concept, and in fact has been referenced by many of the greats in our society; Einstein, Camus, DeGeneres. More often than not, and especially in lengthy car rides, I like to come up with hypothetical situations. The other day was extra-special however, as I met my hypothetical story-telling soul mate. Ladies and gentlemen, his name is Burroughs and he is almost 6 years old. (Thanks Elizabeth for creating such a completely amazing and hilarious being by the way)

B and I were riding with mamma Liz last weekend, and brainstorming various ways to better our daily lives and general universe, as 6 year-olds tend to do. We are dealing with a picky-eater, which is how this little convo came into being.

Me: “What types of things do you like to eat?”

B: “I’m not hungry, I don’t want to eat right now.”

Me: “What if instead of regular food, everything tasted like candy?”

B: “Even the houses and trees?”

Me: “Ya! Then would you be hungry?”

B: “Yes, I’d eat the sides of buildings!”

Me: “And people would drive in cars made out of pop-tarts and with wheels out of Oreos!

B: “They would taste like candy but they’d be healthy for you, but they’d taste like candy!”

Me: “Obviously. And trees would grow cotton candy.”

B: “But they’d be healthy and you didn’t have to eat vegetables.”

Me. “Oh god yes! But I’m worried, because what will we do when it rains and everything becomes goopy and sticky? Will we have to roll in it and run around like pink monsters?”

B: “We’ll make a boat and float away.”

Me: “Good call, it’s a deal.”

The End. This is empirical evidence that kids are amazing, especially 6 year-olds name Burroughs.

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